My Emptiness and I

Raphi, young and naive, enjoys writing love poems and dreams about falling in love. She decided to leave her native France and moved to Barcelona, where she works in a call center. Her many attempts to maintain relationships with other boys gave her anxiety. And even with an official diagnosis from her psychologist—gender dysphoria—Raphi struggles with what that means. As a trans woman, Raphi not only needs to define and defend herself to anyone who asks, but also she needs to deal with the social pressures to move forward with irreversible reassignment surgery. Even among her trans support group, Raphi faces mixed messages about needing to love herself exactly as she is, juxtaposed with the assumption that she must change her body in order for someone to love her in return. The brutal dating scene is no help as she’s matched with men who see her as more of a sexual novelty than a human being in search of love and connection. Wading through serious doubts and an array of intimate encounters of varying pleasure, Raphi must learn to trust herself and her newfound opportunity of the arts as a means of healing and empowerment. Raw, honest, and thought-provoking, MY EMPTINESS AND I is an intensely intimate journey of self-discovery and acceptance. —A.B.